Cartoon

THE MEETING

A film exposing and celebrating the idiocies, vanities, perversities, duplicities and anxieties of human behaviour and interaction in a 4 hour business meeting. Entirely without sub-plot, histories or allegiance, the film showcases ten individuals' styles, mannerisms and ways of being [er, tautology] as they each play out their roles across the ever-changing, undulating landscape of group dynamics and dysfunctionality.

[heap of stuff about how not like The Office, natch]

Poster / Big Voice:

THEY SAY MEETINGS CAN TAKE ON A LIFE OF THEIR OWN... BUT THIS ONE IS GONNA TAKE YOURS

MILKMEN MAN!

17 year-old Anthony Baker was a kid like no other - for at the slightest sign of danger he could unleash five full-sized milkmen from his jacket's pockets. White-coated, milkman-hatted milkmen, graft-hardened and at once both blunt and sharp, who set about troublemakers and would-be-attackers with clinical, large-fisted efficiency; growling as they did so such catchphrase-esque epithets as "I've been up since half-three and I'm no mood for the likes of you" and "I've to be up at 3.30, so I'm in no mood for your sorts".

Danger dealt with, the milkmen would return to young Tony's jacket... but only so long as their hats were in place. [For some reason] Any milkman parted from his beaked tile would have to hang about discreetly with Tony until the object was discovered or a new hat was got from the outfitters... one hundred miles away!!

We pick up the story at such a cap-related eventuality, in "Le Chapeau Perdu!"

John (hatless milkman barred from pocket post-scuffle): Jesus Tony, you said you were going to keep a stock of them!

Tony: I know, I was going to

John: So why didn't you?

Tony: Have you any idea how much it costs just for one?

John: Christ Tony, if it's the money we can sort it...

Tony: But that's just it - you can't! You're not actual working milkmen. You don't have rounds and you don't get paid. So just keep quiet and let me figure out a way to get that hat!

BOZ MAN!

17 year-old Anthony Baker was a kid like no other... for when danger or [conditions to be decided] arose, he would transform into BOZ MAN!

Reaching into a body of work from much-loved author Charles Dickens representing all that was published under the pseudonym 'Boz', from 1833 to, broadly, 1836/37, young Tony would [actions to be decided, eg: physically leafing through one of seven paperback books selected from the small trolley at his heels] take on the character of a fictional subject therein, or [range of options to be decided] and [exact benefits and outcomes to be decided].

Well, that's all sorted then.

BEER - 6, COLD

I heard a question posed thus: "When the Polar Bear's wet, your beer is cold - what price cold beer dispense?"

BOZ!

Quietly fascinated as I am by the repeatedly accounted-for early literary life of Charles Dickens, of his Boz period, brief as it were, I am minded to think on a story, a telling of this time; a biopic, film, and a roaring musical stage production - BOZ! - including such numbers as:

She Was Only My Publisher's Daughter

That's A Whale Of A Gaol

For Illustration Purposes / Give It Your Best Shot, Seymour!

You'll Have It By Tomorrow (Magazine Day)

Bad Debt Dad

What I Love Most About My Wife Is Her Sister

Aint London Funny, But Capital Sad?

(The Meaning Of) Neat

Blacking My Character

and

Aint London Funny, But Capital Sad? [Reprise]

L O X Y

a quasi-anthropomorphic comedy about an alpha male urban fox whose years at the top and relationships are fucked up in the pursuit of inexpressible ideals... set to great music.